here, the instructions will be posted.

i cannot speak to my mother about topics that are in any way personal and intimate to my feelings. i cannot speak to my mother about these things without crying, and i do not want to cry when i speak to her. i feel silly. i feel childish. i feel like [...]. in part, i think this is due to the fact that as a little girl, i was reprimanded for crying. i was a very sensitive girl. when i was happy, i cried ... tears of joy. when i was sad, i cried ... tears of sorrow. when, some centuries ago, my mother would tell me she loved me, i would become overwhelmed with tears of sentiment. i think sometimes my easy tears brought her amusement. i was seven, and she would tell me that it was such a cool thing that my father and i had been born on the same day. that when i grew up, and he died, i'd still have that link to him. that on my birthday i would be reminded of him. i cried. she got mad. even now, it seems like my only way of expression is tears. when i am angry, i can no longer yell. if i yell, i lose. when i am angry, i can feel the bitter tears welling up. this year, for mother's day, i wrote a letter to my mother. it was very short. maybe only a paragraph. but i said somethings that i'd like to be able to say to her face to face. it felt nice. for many years, ive been wanting to write to her and say everything ive been wanting to say. about everything. i thought about the little girl who always held back her words and her tears.
these experiences inspired this project.


step one: meditation. channeling your inner child. think back to the little girl. what does she want to say .... step two: deciding who you will write your letter to. step three: writing the letter.